Fallout 4 and the Art of the Sequel

I feel I should preface this by saying I thoroughly enjoyed Fallout 4 in spite of the tone I may take for the rest of the blog. Plenty of aspects of it need tweaking - a weak main story-line, a beginning that has you lock in your playstyle before you really know what you're doing, and a perpetually cluttered inventory - but it's intensely addictive and no matter what point you are in the game you always have something to do, and not only that, you always want to do it. The combat is much more comfortable than ever before, and while the graphics aren't phenomenal (save for the extra effort they put into the hindquarters of the female Vault dweller) the atmosphere is excellent and more than makes up for it.

But that's not really what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about the world of sequels, through video games, movies and television. There's a lot of talk about sequels becoming more and more prominent as of late, and, well, it's a cold hard truth. Take a look at the top grossing films of 2015 - Star Wars, Jurassic World, Minions, Furious 7, Hunger Games, Spectre, Mission: Impossible, Hotel Transylvania 2 and Pitch Perfect 2 are all spawns of previous films, and even those that aren't are not original stories. Ant-Man and Avengers: Age of Ultron have not only come from the past but are essentially the same hero movie on repeat; The Martian and Cinderella have come from a book and a folk tale, respectively. Home is apparently based loosely off a book as well, which is news to me as, somehow, I have yet to have heard of it. The only original - yes, the only purely original movie of the top fifteen is Inside Out. As you move down the list the percentage of original films starts creeping ever higher as the box office totals drop. Due to the successes of sequels I guess you can't blame the companies for  creating them. It's undoubtedly safe as they are already quite certain of the fan base that will come to support the movie/game/show in spite of ratings, bad press, etc. Anyways, this you probably know - it's become old news because we as viewers will flock to these recreations even if they're terrible - I'm looking at you, Hangover sequels.

Video games fare no better. Multiple Call of Duty's will always be at the top along with the latest installments of NBA, FIFA and Madden games. Naturally, Star Wars creeps in there as well. Television on the other hand you would think would be somewhat exempt. It's hard to reboot a show when typically they'll run until they're out of steam, lasting until the viewership wanes and the viewers move on to new programs. But even then, it's polluted by numerous Marvel and DC comics and CSI: [City Name] shows that don't really bring anything new to the table but will nevertheless do quite well in terms of viewership.

Turning away from the tried and tested is an incredible risk. Blizzard Entertainment, my favourite game company of Warcraft, Starcraft and Diablo fame, openly states they don't try to innovate all that much. They take what's already there and established, tweak and fix it relentlessly, and release it as a more polished and perfected version of what's already out on the market. They've also been running with the same set of games for ages (although just recently adding a new franchise to the mix). With that in mind, I should love sequels. It takes what I know and love and enhances it, a system that is not dissimilar to the idea of breast implants.

Also similar to breast implants, something just isn't quite right about it. Without taking any risks, it's hard to produce something really outstanding. I have problems believing that when I see a new Superman movie it'll be in some way new to me, considering the character itself was created in the '30s. Video games suffer the same fate of pigeon-holing themselves, but in a notably different manner. What people want out of the game is essentially the same thing but amped up a little bit; a touch better in terms of graphics, a little smoother gameplay, a few of the bugs worked out and so forth. This is, to a tee, what Fallout 4 is. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why. If they went an entirely new route - even on a few features - they may anger their die-hard fans, and no single force of people carries more hate and vitriol in their veins than video game fanboys. Worst case, if they stick with the same and screw up there'll be hardly a fan that won't return for Fallout 5, praying it's a return to form and a reboot of the previous games in the franchise. However, if they change it up entirely it might not attract that many back if the game doesn't land particularly well. Call of Duty could have three terrible games in a row, and the majority will still come crawling back - just as long as it stays true to the same formula.

I suppose that's not all bad. You know what you're getting into, and hey, as I said, I did enjoy Fallout. But the problem is any potential for a great breakthrough in the game, that changes it up for the better, is squashed right out of the gate. I'll give them credit - they tried. The game brings in an entirely new feature to the franchise in the creation of settlements in the wasteland, a home to call your own thrown together from scraps of blown out buildings and old mailboxes that you can design to your liking. At the core it's a decent idea, even if in practice it wasn't all that great. Naturally, it's what's caused the rage to rise to the surface from the ever-present force of basement dwelling nerds (of which I am not so proudly a part). Cries of "This isn't Fallout! I want to explore, not play The Sims" became more and more popular.

I believe the reason why it might not have panned out so well is the fact that they tried so strongly to hedge their bets. In holding true to the style of the game (which means changing essentially nothing) they couldn't make settlements too intrusive - which means they are pretty close to useless. Their decision to make settlements mostly optional (you can absolutely pass the game with hardly paying attention to them whatsoever) meant that their focus must have been dragged away to the main core of the game, leaving a sloppily put together unfinished product. They're not all that interesting, provide little benefit, and the player could really use a little more guidance in how they function. Of course they're not going to be all that impressive. Why would they place a heavy emphasis on an optional segment of the game that not every player would participate in?

All this stems from the same problem - people fear change to the point that creators are forced to shy away from anything truly ambitious. New is dangerous, and what's the point of going out there for something new if the tried-and-true will undoubtedly provide you a larger paycheque? I would have really liked if there was a greater focus on settlements which would add a new element to a game that feels exceptionally similar to it's predecessor, even if it is a more polished, complete game. Perhaps if it was a more critical, central part of the game it would have received a little more love, making it less, well, sucky.

So all told, while I enjoyed Fallout 4, there's a part of me that's craving something brand new. Settlements could have provided that bonus to shake up the series, but alas, the will of the fanboy was imposed and only a lightweight attempt was put forth - and due to the lack of effort put in, it ultimately was left wanting. In a perfect world, Fallout would have had the freedom to push themselves in that new direction with the fans of the series willing to at least give it a shot before immediately shooting it down.

Perhaps I'm part of the problem in dutifully buying every sequel to the series' I enjoy and having what I would deem a successful year determined by the enjoyment I received from watching Creed (it was phenomenal, by the way). So, maybe there's no solution. Bring on double-digits of Fast and the... Still Fast. The world needs Call of Duty to come full-circle and go back to the past (I kind of mean that, actually). All I'm hoping for is that innovations to the tried and true be given a fair shake. Give settlements a shot, y'all.

Simpsons by the Season: Top Ten

"Um, can you repeat the part of the stuff... where you said all about the... things? Uh... the things?"

To preface this blog post I will point out the top ten all come from seasons three to eight, the sacred halls of The Simpsons in which the show could do no wrong. It won't be long now that those times will be two decades past with the show still plugging along, having lost it's relevance, quotability and more often than not, it's humour. But this isn't a time for complaint, but rather a time for craning your neck up in non-shame, reliving the best of the best. It's no easy feat - finding ten classic episodes could be as easy as randomly selecting a patch from season four, but selecting only the top of these strips so many greats that deserve more credit. Sideshow Bob alone could account for half the list with Krusty taking the remainder and it wouldn't be too unreasonable. Nevertheless, here's my attempt, and since it's the internet what better way to do it than to list them in a top ten format where it's likely this first paragraph gets skipped and all the more likely that only the titles of the episodes are read.

If you've made it this far, kudos.

10: Homer's Enemy

Here's the difference between the cynical episodes of old and new. Homer remains a good person. Frank Grimes has a brutal life and ends up finding his end after a fit of rage towards the carefree, coast-through-life style of Homer Simpson, but ultimately Homer doesn't do anything to hurt Frank; at least not deliberately. He tries to befriend him, he's scared of going to work because of him, he's intimidated by him, and while he may be inconsiderate it's out of boorishness and never cruelty. It's a stark contrast to nowadays Homer in which he's grifting, thieving or otherwise. That's the reason why a darker episode in the series worked in the golden years and why they don't work today.

9: Homer Bad Man
For pure comedy this is quietly one of the best episodes of the series. You won't see it on many top ten lists but it's certainly deserving of high praise when high praise is all that came towards the series. It's consistently funny, the story is entertaining, and the Rock Bottom segment is one of the single funniest stretches in the shows long run.

8: The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show
Well, all of these episodes are hilarious so I might as well stop pointing that out every time. The introduction of Poochie comes in the eighth season of the show, around the time that if a show has lasted that long it's at the point where it's dragging its body across the finish line after having lost most if it's viewers. The whole episode is not only smart enough to poke fun at this but they do so knowing how good the show still is. Sadly, it's season nine that starts the decline. Perhaps they got cocky. Nevertheless, it's The Simpsons in a beautiful state.

7: Sideshow Bob Roberts
The Simpsons can occasionally take on political episodes so well they're the highlight of the season. We've seen it in "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington", a contender for the top ten, and now we see it mixing with one of the greatest of the Simpsons characters. The reason this episode takes the cake are quotations like this one that riddle the episode: "Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king." It shows The Simpsons is more than just a regular cartoon comedy - it's much smarter than the norm.


6: Marge vs. The Monorail
It's sixth place on the list and third in it's season. The fourth season of the show is so stunningly good that the hilarious appearance of Phil Hartman can't even bring it to the top.

5: Homer at the Bat 

This episode didn't even make it to the top of season three, which attests to just how strong a season it was. The entire episode - the story, the humour, the animation (Mr. Burns' hand signals and Homer swinging at the baseball in slow motion spring to mind) - all culminate into a classic. Ask any good Simpsons fan to recite the "Talkin' Softball" song that plays at the end, and they'll probably repeat it verbatim. Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw... Steve Sax and his run in with the law.... We're talkin' Hoooooomer... Ozzie and the Straw!

4: You Only Move Twice

Considering how well received this episode is amongst Simpsons fanatics, I'm surprised Hank Scorpio has only one appearance in the series. In a way I'm glad he hasn't - his story only needs to be a one episode arc, and we can all rest peacefully knowing that the Globex Corporation is likely sort of running the Simpsons' world by now. It's refreshing considering every movie that did more than break even in the last ten years is finding a sequel, no matter how unnecessary. I'm looking at you, The Hangover. I'm also looking at you, The Hangover II. 

3: Radio Bart

Prior to seeing this episode on my extensive re-watch, I wouldn't have put it anywhere near the top ten. I felt it was just another classic amidst a number of other classics, but it's a solid step above. Just think of how many great moments: the birthday celebration at Wal-E-Weasel, the "Sending our Love Down the Well" song, the great visual gag of Willie revealing he's super jacked, and of course the core story of Bart being a practical joker but ultimately getting his comeuppance. It has all the makings of a top tier episode and it deserves it's spot. It's a near flawless episode. 

2: Homer the Heretic
Back in the day when the Simpsons went to church and Homer went to work, staying home from either was kind of a big deal. "I'm whizzing with the door open... and I love it!" is to this day a frequently quoted line in my house. It never gets old. Better yet, the whole episode is filled with quick wit that shows the characters can lead an episode and not just what's happening around them.

1: Krusty Gets Kancelled
It takes a lot to make it to the number one spot in the series, but the countless mega guest stars, the great plot, Krusty being at his finest and more great lines than most shows have in their whole seasons, "Krusty Gets Kancelled" takes the cake. Krusty deserves it anyways. He's the most consistent of all the Simpsons characters.

Honourable Mentions:
"The Homer They Fall"
"Mr. Plow"
"The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"
"Cape Fear"
"Homer the Great"
"The Last Temptation of Krust"

Simpsons by the Season: 26

"You know what we should really thank for our success? Lower standards."

It's the last season before catching up with the present day, which means this project I've started about ten months ago is finally coming to a close. Twenty six seasons later, I've seen it through it's inception, the golden years, the shockingly fast descent, a brief half-resurgence (at least in comparison) and another sharp decline. I haven't been enjoying the episodes for a while now, and, as you can see by the increased length between posts, it's becoming more of a chore than anything. Rather than feeling the satisfaction of completing a task, it's closer to being put out of my misery.

I had thought the series had hit somewhat of an end of history, descending into mostly tame episodes that are rather run of the mill and inoffensive; finally all dust and embers of it's once roaring fire. It's the way the show had been turning for the past while, and I foolishly thought the trend would continue. Oh boy. If only. While the mistakes are plenty, the theme of the errors this time around are simple; it all comes down to laziness.

More than ever, things feel loosely strung together as the episodes fail to reach a cohesive story. Guest stars come and go for seemingly no reason: Pharrell Williams just happens to be in Springfield without explanation; Elon Musk descends from a futuristic spaceship mostly just because. The effort in the writing in at least having a reason for the guest spots is shot, but that's not the only mistake here. Frequently the show feels like a pieced together variety hour with plots that come and go with only a tenuous link to the main story. The appearance of Elon Musk's spaceship (I can't believe that sentence has to do with a Simpsons episode) ends a segment of the show where the family captures an eagle - a segment that has nothing to do with the rest of the show but nevertheless takes up a good part of the beginning of the program. A similar idea occurs in an episode called "Sky Police" that has Clancy find a jet-pack to better monitor the town before crashing it into the church - where the plot goes to a gambling scheme. But what about the whole sky police angle of which the episode is named? Well, when Clancy said "this is the end of sky police" - only three minutes and fifteen seconds into the episode I might add. I guess that was the end of that plotline entirely. Even the endings of episodes have moments that appear tacked on just to fill space when they couldn't make up the entire twenty-one minutes. One ends with "The Simpsons Post-show Jug Band", which is entirely as it sounds; another is just a drug fueled trip from Otto. Neither is funny. Both are pointless. It plays like it's written by a child that's on a sugar-high.


The rest of the season is filled with what I've come to expect from the past few sets. Absurd storylines (Kang and Kodos are real, apparently), changes of character (just one off lines like "that's where I used to grow my weed, but that's a story for another day" tend to upset me - and by the way, Marge said that), and repeated stories (Homer and a rag-tag band he puts together become wildly popular, and Apu finds centre stage - but this time he doesn't change his last name to de Beaumarchais). They might as well just keep making seasons now, as long as it's making them money. What have they got to lose? It's no longer a cultural phenomenon; no one talks about The Simpsons anymore, and spouting quotes from the series stops beyond season eight. It's no longer well received or respected, as that died out long ago. So many of the writers have long since left, and they very nearly lost Harry Shearer. They said they wouldn't do a movie, but of course that didn't last. That would have required some integrity left in the show. Groening removed his name from the episode when they did a crossover with The Critic from the sixth season (pointing out The Critic has "nothing to do with the Simpsons' world" and "it violate[d] the Simpsons' universe"), and now they've done one with Futurama and allowed their characters to appear on a Family Guy crossover episode, the twisting of the knife in my side. I suppose it doesn't even matter when they stop now. To quote the show from a better time...

Stop, stop, it's already dead!

Best Quotes:
"Remember: we're parked in the ethnic princess section."
-Marge at a Disneyland-esque place

"We will always remember your countless appearances on the Krusty the Clown Show... and your one appearance on To Catch a Predator."
-Krusty getting roasted

"You don't have to announce it. Just do it quietly and blame the dog."
-Homer

Best Episode:
It's always safe to go with Krusty. "Clown in the Dumps", in which Krusty's dad dies, has a few pretty big laughs and a story that isn't total nonsense. Nowadays that counts as the default victory.

Worst Episode:
"The Man Who Came to Dinner" has the family visit the home planet of Kang and Kodos, the Halloween episode favourites. The quote "are we truly in space? And if so, why?" rings far too true. Maggie flying them home in a spaceship was taking the knife that was twisted in the Family Guy crossover and giving it serrated teeth. Bottom ten material, right here. A fitting way to end it.

Simpsons by the Season: 25

"That's the great thing about art - everyone can have their own opinion about why it sucks."

This season is in many ways a carbon copy of the previous. For the most part it's simply bland, the episodes drifting into one another without ever really catching. There are only a handful of truly offensive episodes (I'll detail those towards the end, as two split the coveted worst episode of the season award) but just as scarce are the good ones. The minds behind The Simpsons must have decided that to prolong the longevity of the series they will churn out episodes that aren't going to enrage the viewer (who is far more loyal than they deserve) but will instead placate them with mediocrity. Viewers won't be up in arms, so they'll probably grudgingly return to the television to pay homage to a fallen great. After all, you can't say you've watched the entire series while skipping season 25. 

The identical feelings at the end of season 24 and 25 I believe may have signified the end of change in the series, settling into a permanent lull. It won't change now. It doesn't go from fantastic quality, to low quality, to ridiculous, to tame and then back to something previously; it'll stay at tame as tame is safe. Low effort, low quality (but not bottoming out quality) will bring in enough viewers to keep the propped up, rotting corpse of the series alive for another day. It's the end of the line. 26 won't be better or worse, and neither will 27. The show has flatlined a hair above being legally declared deceased. Of course, it's still better than the death spiral of 15-18 (give or take) in which the show bottomed out, but being on life support after it's heart attack is such a sorry state.

Don't get me wrong, the show still has its periodic ups and downs (occasional heartbeats and seizures, if we're continuing on the hospital metaphor) but they're few and far between. There are two pretty decent episodes in "Specs and the City" (the Simpsons' version of Google Glass comes to Springfield) and "Steal This Episode" (their take on internet privacy), and about four terrible ones. "Days of Future Future" is an absolutely nonsensical mess with Homer being cloned, and then it's in the future and there's zombies, and... all I know is it wasn't a Halloween episode. "The Man Who Grew Too Much" has Sideshow Bob splice genes of animals to make himself super-human. "You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee" has Homer officiating the World Cup. Homer and Bart get back at Skinner through a prank, telling him his mother has been murdered and he was the main suspect, but they'll help him get rid of her corpse by chopping it into pieces in "Yellow Subterfuge".


Sigh.

Fortunately, those four messes make up only a fraction of the season, so it's mostly watchable. Anger has subsided and it's been replaced by boredom. Just as long as it's still on the air, right?

Best Episode:

"Steal This Episode" takes the cake, as it delivered a fairly even handed approach to internet privacy. Sure, it's low hanging fruit, but they tackled it well.

Worst Episode:

I've already described them, but Homer being a World Cup referee is so bafflingly stupid it's too difficult to ignore. However, "Days of Future Future" is such a pieced together trainwreck it might, somehow, be worse.

Best Quotes:

"Eduardo Barcelona, or in english, Eddy Miami." 
-Homer's Brazilian pen-pal

"Nelson, you frighten me so, 
the psychoest bully I know,
you're a sociopath,
in need of a bath, 
I'm sure you'll end up on death row"
-Bart's valentine for Nelson

"I'll never experience the ultimate reward for a life well lived: the gentle slumber of death."
-Homer living in a dream world

Simpsons by the Season: 24

"There's like eight amazing shows, none of them on Fox."

At the end of the last blog post I made a plea for sanity in The Simpsons, claiming that when the show holds onto reality it's infinitely more entertaining than when it gets completely lost. This season, in a refreshing fashion, actually holds to that - the over-the-top absurd moments are few and far between, and while they still exist (Reverend Lovejoy literally boring frogs to death in "Pulpit Friction") the season is much more tolerable than others due to the fact that most episodes have a straightforward plot that doesn't go insane two-thirds of the episode through. 

Sadly, that isn't to say it was a success of a season, but more of a stay from absolute travesty. Many of the same issues in previous seasons creep up, but they're just not quite as pervasive as they have been. Homer's a jerk in "A Test Before Trying" where he puts up a parking meter to scam people out of pocket change, but at least it's a side-story and not the main. Episodes are rehashed or merged, like in "Whiskey Business" - Moe gains confidence through wearing a specific suit (not Marge's Chanel one though!) and it turns out he can make a phenomenal drink (but gained his popularity in a different way than through his Flaming Moe). Continuity errors still come through, with Bart pretending to be a great piano player in "The Fabulous Faker Boy" (they reference him never having any musical talent, forgetting he surpassed Lisa's success in jazz through drumming a few seasons ago) and "The Saga of Carl" in which Carl's adopted Icelandic heritage is revealed, which just raises countless questions considering Lenny, Homer and himself have been friends since childhood. But, I'll be realistic here, and realize that in the grand scheme of things these are relatively small errors or oversights, and the weakness of the season doesn't lie there.

The problem with this stretch is a lot harder to pinpoint. It's hard to say "this just has to be funnier" and leave it at that, but that's really the core of the problem. The humour just isn't there anymore, lacking the cleverness and wit of previous seasons and replacing it with jokes that feel more like they're just going through the motions. They can hardly fill a full episode slot anymore, as if it's becoming too hard for them to do so. The couch gags are getting longer and longer, and twice this season they had two minute segments at the end of episodes that are complete non sequiturs. One had Mr. Burns explaining the "fiscal cliff" premise and the other was a clip about... I don't know, advertising characters doing something. It was a total mess. It's not that those clips are the worst parts of the season, but it's indicative of a greater problem; they're so low on ideas that they literally can't fill the entire show up before having to switch thoughts to something else. It's like the show itself is battling with attention deficit.

While this isn't the worst season by a longshot, there's little to report that's positive except for the moderate absences of negatives. While few moments or episodes really stuck, there wasn't anything that made me as violently angry (I may take the series a little too seriously at times). So, take it as you will. Is The Simpsons best served lukewarm now? Perhaps that's the truth.

Best Quotes:
"A kid's never lonely when he has balogna! Except me." 
-Milhouse

"Emergency meeting in the faculty lounge. BYOB." 
-Chalmers to Edna

"Nah, it's a 44 long. I wear a 38 hunched." 
-Moe, shopping for a suit

"My gay dad is gay for gays."
-Homer about Abe

Best Episode:
"The Day the Earth Stood Cool" is probably the best episode of the season. It pokes some easy fun at hipsters but it does a pretty decent job of doing so.

Worst Episode:
"A Tree Grows in Springfield" has a message of "hope" written into a tree in the backyard of the Simpsons' house. It's essentially the episode with the angel all over again, and not much better. This is also one of the episodes with the two minute segment at the end that has nothing to do with the episode itself. 

Simpsons by the Season: 23

"Everything's perfect about the past, except how it led to the present."

I was feeling pretty smug at the start of this season, thinking I had it all figured out - the series dips terribly in the middle but they sort of start to figure it out towards the most recent. At least here and there they start having a few episodes, and there's this distinct possibility of having a solid, cohesive season. By about eight episodes in, right after seeing "The Ten Per Cent Solution" in which Joan Rivers is Krusty's old agent, I felt more correct than ever. There were a few duds early, but a third of the way through I was feeling like the series was finally turning it around. Unfortunately, at episode eight, it was not only the last good episode of the season but the last passable one.

The reason for the early praise on my part is the quality of two in particular; "The Ten Per Cent Solution" is excellent, and "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts" is also top notch. In fact, they're the best in - perhaps literally - a decade, and it's not hard to see why. "Bart Stops" is a clever idea that fits with the characters; Chalmers appeals to Bart by showing him the manly side of history in Roosevelt, in spite of the man's name being Teddy. They tie in a smartly placed commentary on the school system being soft. Bart isn't a piece of garbage! "Ten Per Cent Solution" follows much the same way, with Krusty being classic Krusty. It doesn't get ridiculous. It's coherent. It's funny. Unfortunately, that couldn't be said for the last two thirds of the season. 

I believe most of the problems stem from the main themes of the episodes being noticeably worse, and because of that it's missing an edge. You can see perhaps more clearly than ever that the episode ideas are not coming as fast and loose as they used to, and the show is falling back on two main plans in order to prop the show up Weekend at Bernie's style. One, they have amped up the craziness, but that's been climbing steadily for years now. Second, and this is at least somewhat new, they're relying more frequently on whole episode-long parodies - picking out movies of (then) recent popularity and basing whole episode arcs on them. This season we have "The Book Job" (parodying the Ocean's series), "The D'ohcial Network" (The Social Network), "How I Wet Your Mother" (an extended scene has the family enter Homer's dreams Inception style, which also covers the ridiculous premise category quite nicely) and the Halloween special had two with Dexter and Avatar. Picking up someone else's plot has proven easier than creating their own. That being said, they're not necessarily bad episodes, but it's indicative of greater problems if they have to reach that far for more ideas. Perhaps it's not their fault, considering it's been over twenty seasons, but I won't feel sympathy for them when it's their choice to continue the series. 

I know it must be hard now with this season hitting its five-hundredth episode, but once more I'll plea to the Simpsons to keep reason and sanity within their program. Their good episodes this season, or at least the decent ones, are all plausible. "The Falcon and the D'ohman" is mostly reasonable (until the very end, as it takes a poor turn) and it's not a bad episode. Same with the two mentioned before, as well as "The Food Wife" (the family, save for Homer, create a food blog which works quite well until, as many other episodes, it loses touch with reality in the end and falls to pieces) and "The Book Job" in which they take a few fairly funny shots at young adult literature - a parody plot but one that holds up fairly well. 

But the poor episodes? Homer helps to choose the candidate for the republican party. The Simpsons get banished from Springfield until the whole town comes to join them (also not ending the episode reasonably). Bart tricks a whole cruise liner into believing the world has collapsed around them (and ends the episode with the Simpsons being banished in Antarctica with a bunch of penguins). A wave of robots turns on humanity and Springfield fights them in hand-to-hand combat. They just can't pull off stupid very well, and if they're to pull off a legitimately good season, they need to stop trying to.

Best Episode:

I won't describe them once more, but I'll give it a draw between "Ten Per Cent Solution" and "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts". 

Worst Episode:

Speaking of the stupid and ridiculous, we have a contender for the coveted "worst episode ever" title. In "Moe Goes From Rags to Riches", we discover Moe's Bar rag has a storied history going back hundreds of years. It's actually some sort of sentient being. I would honestly prefer the episode to be written by a rag itself, as a blank screen would have been preferable. Once more I have to ask - is this canon? Does Moe's rag really have a story behind it?

"Holidays of Future Passed" also deserves a mention. Yet another unbearable episode based about the family's future, it makes less sense than ever. Once more desperately trying to bring Halloween themed episodes into the actual world. Right when the trees started talking I almost called it quits. 

Best Quotes:

"Roosevelt killed more Spaniards in one day than most people have in their whole lives!"

-Bart, finally interested in history

"When a man who loves America cries, that makes him super straight!"

-Lenny on Homer's American passion

Simpsons by the Season: 22

"Why can't you support my gibberish?"

Season 21 began to taper off towards the end, and 22 continues in that fashion. It's far from the worst season you're going to see, and the more I watch I believe those seasons are somewhere in the 13-19 range, but it just isn't very good. The reason being is they must feel like they have to push to an extreme to keep the audience entertained, as if that twenty-two minutes of television isn't engaging enough unless there are needless Michael Bay-type explosions and eyes popping out of their sockets (both happened, and neither in the Halloween special). Simplicity just doesn't cut it, and going above and beyond both the abilities of the characters and going to extremes of the characters' personalities themselves happens nearly every episode this season. Nothing is written with a level head, and they try to push the entertainment almost as an adventure, with everyone getting into increasingly impossible situations rather than a character based comedy, but that, ultimately, loses the wit and charm of the show. The Simpsons has to realize that the audience isn't that stupid. We have patience. We don't need everything cranked up to ten. If we wanted Family Guy we'd just go watch it.

Too many episodes began well and held promise but lost it when the show took a ridiculous turn and shot itself in the foot. This is nothing new, but it seemed especially prominent in this season. Take "How Munched is That Birdie in the Window?". Bart nurses a bird back to health, and he gets upset with the dog because Santa's Little Helper swallows it whole. That's not that bad. But it can't stay that way. It's not insane yet, so the viewer must be bored. The result is bringing Santa's Little Helper to an ostrich farm to give him away, but Bart gets attacked and ends up choking out one of the birds. Things were going alright for a while, but just in case anyone fell asleep, have Bart wring the neck of an ostrich.

Or "The Scorpion Tale". Have the family accidentally happen upon a drug that makes old people nicer? OK, so the means to get there is pretty stupid but the end result isn't. Old people being pleasant isn't necessarily a bad plot. However, their eyes start popping out of their sockets as a side effect. When in doubt, resort to easy shock value when wit is in short supply.

How about "Homer the Father"? Homer tries to be a better father to Bart, using the values of a (really funny) typical '90s sitcom. Great! But instead of having the humour coming from how Bart reacts to this, or how Homer stumbles through his attempts, they have Bart steal nuclear secrets and sell them to China. As I said - it's not about the characters, it's about adventures and incredible situations. I won't even have time to discuss in detail the Simpsons winning both an Oscar and a Golden Globe, or Fat Tony dying and being replaced by a relative, or how profoundly stupid it is to have Ned and Edna fall for each other which is just baffling in and of itself, because there are just too many examples to exhibit.

Even if the situation isn't extreme, they'll make the characters that way, typically exaggerating their capacity for cruelty or some other degree of the evil in their nature. We've already seen Bart's ability to torture and blackmail in the reprehensible "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" in which he threatens Skinner with a peanut after he discovers he's allergic. They inexplicably decide to return to that well, but this time around he's abusing Homer, as he can no longer stand up to Bart after taking a parenting course. You end up hating Homer for being a terrible, thoughtless parent but hate Bart more for treating him so terribly afterwards. This isn't the only example, either; the entire premise of "The Fool Monty" is the entire town abusing a helpless, lost-his-marbles Mr. Burns.

Trim it down, Simpsons. Find a middle ground and focus on who your characters are. The situations aren't funny; it's how the characters react to them, and they have to react in character. That's what's funny. Look at "You Only Move Twice" with Hank Scorpio; the government breaking into his compound isn't the funniest part of the show, nor is it the funniest part of the scene. It's when Homer, walking away dejected after having to leave his job, casually kicks a grenade away like a loose stone as he's leaving. Or in "Marge vs. the Monorail"; it's not that there are possums in the wiring of the monorail that's so funny. What makes that scene memorable is that he casually states he "calls the big one bitey" as if it's hardly a problem at all. It's Homer's stumble-through-life nature that's classic Simpsons, as in when he saved the nuclear plant by guessing and hoping for which button to push to save it from a meltdown, not having him blowing one up in China as they had in this season.

Moderation, Simpsons. All things in moderation.

Best Quotes:
"Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!"
-Homer's advice to Bart

"Lay off Detroit. Those people are living in Mad Max times."
-Moe on Detroit

"His bat's hungering for a homer, just like Chronos for his children."
-The announcer at Bart's little league game

Best Episode:
I would say the best episode this season is "Flaming Moe" in which Moe makes his bar friendly to unattractive gay men. Moe changing up his bar is nothing new, but the show has traditionally made comedy about gay people pretty darn funny. It could have gone to "MoneyBART" where Lisa uses statistics to bring Bart's baseball team to consistent victories, but one scene in which a man offers to teach Bart over the summer to build model boats by hand. Bart responds with "How would you like to kiss my ass?". It was so indicative of the decline of the show and the characters that it spoiled an otherwise good episode.

Worst Episode:
Everyone abusing Mr. Burns in "The Fool Monty" was the lowpoint of the season. Once again, characters going insane is not funny. It's just lazy writing, and the same goes for when the characters are over the top cruel, which this episode has in spades.

Simpsons by the Season: 20

"If I ever get a hold of you, I shall thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavours."

The Simpsons is no phoenix. From the ashes in which it has burned will not rise some new, glorious age of quality in which all Simpsons fans, young and old, will join hands and rejoice in television's warm glowing warming glow. However, I hope this is the bottom. I hope that this is the lowest it will drop, the twentieth season being this milestone where they finally take a look and realize that what they're putting out isn't acceptable. This is the first season where I wasn't entirely sure if I've seen some of the episodes I've watched, as not all of them were particularly familiar, so this is likely where my interest started to wane in the series. So perhaps it improves. That is yet to be known. But I can assure you, it cannot get much worse than this.

I won't be doing my usual synopsis of what went right and what went wrong. I'll be going episode by episode of the worst, as there's... there's just a lot to cover...

"Four Great Women and a Manicure"
Typically with the three-part Halloween Special wanna-bes they'll give a background to why they're going into the past. Something to give the episode at least a semblance of reason before jumping needlessly into time-period stories. This time, it was fifty-two seconds into the episode and we're off to Patty sitting in a throne as the Queen of England. That includes the opening theme, so really the reason for saddling us with another set of shorts like this is sold to us in twenty-five seconds. The stories themselves only tenuously link; at first Marge argues something about women needing to look good, followed by Lisa saying beauty can be dangerous, and the third story is just a woman held back by a man - but told by Marge, breaking the theme.

Thank goodness it was mercifully done at seventeen minutes.

Oh... Maggie wants a story too. I guess they did four. The way to link the fourth was literally just saying "Maggie wants a story." This episode cheats a real plot-line with the multi-story non-canon arc again, and cheats further by not even having them linked.

"Wedding for Disaster"
Marge and Homer find out they're not actually married, and thus have to remarry! Fortunately, they know exactly what to do as this is the... what... fourth time they've been married by now? But wait! Homer is kidnapped! He finds himself in a Saw-like torture chamber in which he has to find a way out. Honestly, I think someone just poked a hole in the Halloween Special this year and it leaked out to some of the other ones.

As it turns out it was Selma all along. As the writers were not yet satisfied with making Bart evil and Homer a thief they had to shatter the spirit of some other characters too. Selma ruined their second (well, fourth-ish) wedding, putting Marge through pain, but also kidnapped and tortured Homer.

"Gone Maggie Gone"
Last season we had a spy caper, having the Simpson family sabotage a missile. This year, we go on a Da Vinci Code style mystery adventure! It's complete with Lisa infiltrating a convent full of crazy nuns, who lead her in a search for a gem that a nun tells her has mystical powers. After moving through a series of clues, she is led to the Springfield Bell Tower where she finds Comic Book Guy and Skinner who are part of some secret organization to find this gem as it will bring peace to the world. She eventually solves the puzzle and returns to the convent believing herself to be the "gem child" in which will bring the world peace. However, she is wrong - it's actually Maggie. Maggie is then placed on a throne, rainbows shoot everywhere and Springfield instantly becomes a happy, peaceful place. That is, until Marge discovers Maggie has been taken and demands her back, and Bart is placed on the throne in her stead. Instantly, fire and brimstone shoot through the church, as Bart is no longer a good-hearted kid with bad tendencies, but sent by the devil himself (the picture is below).

This episode is best described as being poor simply by stating the plot itself. Here's the kicker, though - this wasn't the worst of the season. In my opinion it wasn't the worst by a long shot. That prestigious title belongs to...

"Lisa the Drama Queen"
My father, an avid Simpsons fanatic and long-standing devotee of the series (he still watches every episode, and I admire his tenacity) often speaks of "Lisa the Drama Queen". He didn't know the title so he would describe it as some mess where Lisa makes a make-belief land with dragons and unicorns and other crap. Add Lisa slipping in and out of an aggravating english accent and he had it pretty well dead on. It's a contender for a bottom ten of the series, which really, really means something now. An episode that ends with the Simpson family going to Machu Pichu because Bart put a tracker Marge planted on him on a bird didn't even make the list - neither does an episode that has a magic sauce foretelling what would have come had Homer become class president in high school.

Best Episode:
Speaking of my father again, he always says that he sticks around because the show can, on occasion, pump out some decent episodes still. I'd debate if it's worth pushing through that much muck and mire for something that still won't hold with any of the first hundred or so episodes.

"Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words", an episode in which Lisa becomes a crossword puzzle champion and Homer bets on her (and eventually against her) keeps the characters at least somewhat close to themselves, shows Homer having regret for his actions, and stays at least somewhat in the realm of reality. For season twenty, that's knocking it out of the park.

Best Quotes:
"Man, those are some ugly kittens."
-Bart reflecting on his kitten calendar gift for the family

"Last time I checked, pirates weren't gay."
"Ugh, how'd you check?"
-Bart and Homer to a salesman trying to give a puffy shirt to Bart

Simpsons by the Season: 19

"Sometimes I think about getting on a bus and never coming back."

You know, I don't enjoy writing scathing reviews. It's hard not to come across as a whiner, or some real-life version of Comic Book Guy sitting behind his computer contributing nothing but judging everything. I miss the days where I struggled deciding which is the best episode of the season rather than sifting through the muck and mire and pulling out the best of a rotten bunch. Above all, I miss these characters of which I have given so many hours watching them develop (as well as throwing more than my fair share of dollars at merchandise, some of which even Krusty would be embarrassed of) and looking forward to Sunday night comedy slots where The Simpsons could very well be the highlight. I was just a touch too young to appreciate it's prime during the days in which it aired, but watching the repeats time and time again made me appreciate them all the more - especially as I aged and gradually understood it better. Watching it decline, bleeding out all the greatness it had is such a sad experience. So it is with a heavy heart I'm attacking you, Simpsons, because I know what you were and what you could be, but worse yet, I know what you are.

The writers have changed dramatically since the show's inception. Many of the very best have long since left, and they hired on a crew of new blood to push the longevity of the program. Sometimes I wonder if the newbies have watched the show since the beginning the way so many true Simpsons fans have. They forget the Simpsons have always been a family that just kind of gets by. Lisa is the only one with any real brains except for perhaps Marge to some degree, and Homer and Bart stumble through. At the core, they're the average, every-day family; even if you're not a fan of the show, you probably would know this anyway just through general pop-culture knowledge. So when did they suddenly become so talented at whatever they so please as they have in the past few seasons? 

In this season: Homer can suddenly sing incredibly well while laying on his back (which does not come to any real conclusion - he still can); Marge stops an assassin while doing front flips; Homer is making beef jerky quite successfully just as a thing on the side; Marge is great at dance, suddenly; Lisa has inexplicably found comedic talents; and Homer is some fighting machine/spy, swinging a cinder block tied to a chain at a bunch of Burns' men that are protecting some sort of rocket. Last season, Bart became an incredible jazz drummer and Marge became a top-class carpenter, just to name a few. Where is this sudden influx of skills and talents coming from?

I understand that this has happened in the past where the family finds sudden success or surprise talents, but it's handled in such a different way. Looking through the glory years, Bart got famous on the Krusty show just through sheer luck, not talent. Homer became an astronaut strictly because he's an average man. In "Homer the Great" he leads the Stonecutters simply because he has a fortunate birthmark. In "The Homer They Fall" Homer can stand up to most boxers simply because he has just that thick of a skull. It's all chance and fortune (the crux of the Frank Grimes episode) that propels the Simpsons. It's never skill. That's what makes it funny in the first place. (It's important to note that an episode I'll be discussing later, "Homer's Barbershop Quartet", is a notable exception to this rule.)

As if that wasn't enough, some of their talents have even crossed out previous moments of Simpsons lore. We'll put aside the scene where Gil, working as a security guard, gets shot multiple times (is Gil dead now? who knows?) and move on to Marge and Lisa. Marge is not the only Simpson with dancing talent, as we suddenly learn this season. Lisa is a natural ballet dancer. Of course, not only has Bart already learned ballet, but Lisa has already tried dancing; she gave her best shot with tap but failed miserably, only finding success with the help of Professor Frink's self-tapping shoes as she was otherwise hopeless. That episode wasn't even that long ago. 

Then, of course, Homer apparently created the grunge music movement entirely on his own. Lets look at this for a moment. Again, putting aside the fact that Homer has already been a successful musician ("Homer's Barbershop Quartet") he's been to Hullabalooza, where he cannot understand their brand of music. Music that was popular in the '90s. Music that while not necessarily categorized as grunge holds many similarities. He even said to The Smashing Pumpkins' frontman Billy Corgan that he just can't "share [their] bleak world view". Now, not only does he understand it, but he started their very movement. 

I understand that doing episodes where things are happening in the past gets muddled when the show has been running for such a length, but such an oversight on what is a classic episode it's certainly hard to ignore. A prerequisite to being a Simpsons writer should be an encyclopedic knowledge of the show - which considering the fan-base it has, should not be a tall order - and I just don't feel that's the case right now.

Well... That being said...

If the writers didn't watch the show they couldn't lift the jokes from the early seasons, like Nelson's heartfelt Sundance film festival entry in "Any Given Sundance" that is essentially Barney's movie in Burns' film festival (right down to ending the clip with the word "fin" coming on the screen.  But I digress. 

Best Quotes:

"You have what made America great: no understanding of the limits of your power, and a complete lack of concern for what anyone thinks of you."
-Stephen Colbert's life-coach character to Homer

“Martin was a shy, awkward child who will never fulfil his promise to become a weird, unloved adult.”
-What is said of Martin after they believe him to be dead

"The first inspirational speech of the day was by the woman that climbed Mount Everest and got everyone else killed!"
-Marge speaking about a women's conference

Best Episode:
It's a tie. "Little Orphan Millie" has Milhouse believe his parents have died, and as a result he becomes emotional and reclusive, much to the admiration of the girls in Springfield Elementary. Emo Milhouse is genuinely funny, but it has to share the top episode spot because the ending in which they stumble upon his parents in a hot air balloon is so preposterously stupid I can't forget it. The second half tie goes to "The Debarted". Bart befriends a class clown that one-ups him at every turn. Unfortunately, he turns out to be a snitch. It's not great by any means, but it's a decent idea for a story and it has a few solid laughs.

Worst Episode:
With no doubt in my mind it's "Mona Leaves-a". Homer's mother returns once more, but this time is the last time as she passes away. Her final wish is to have her ashes thrown off the top of a mountain at a precise time.

Now this is where it gets messy.

The ashes clog the ducts of one of Mr. Burns' nefarious plots, stopping his plans. Suddenly it's a spy show in which the Simpsons are the heroes. Shocking.

Simpsons by the Season: 18

"I can't believe he acted completely in character."

Season ten started the decline of The Simpsons. Eleven found the plots becoming decreasingly realistic. Twelve, the plots went from unrealistic to just not entertaining. In the thirteenth, the characters weren't even really acting like themselves anymore. Fourteen, the quality of the humour really started to sink, as if it wasn't already. The fifteenth season finds the show trying to conjure up happier feelings with nostalgia in place of good writing. While the sixteenth is a strange throwback to slightly better stuff, it was too little too late as the following the characters just lose their humanity. 

This eighteenth is a culmination of everything that has gone wrong with the series, tied into one tidy bundle of garbage. Here's how!

Reality is taken out back and shot: 

Far too many episodes can essentially pass for Halloween episodes now, as writing in reality has evidently become too hard. If you remember when Community had their first paintball themed episode, it was fresh, original, and above all pretty funny. Then they started doing more of them, and other such episodes that didn't fit with the format and went about as off the rails as a show can go. It's probably easier to write as it opens up nearly endless material, but they rarely hit the mark and come across as cheap. "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times" is another three-part episode in which the characters are different people, "Marge Gamer" (a self explanatory title) takes them into another universe, and "24 Minutes" (an episode parodying the show 24) is just an extended Halloween bit. With the Halloween episode itself added, about 20% of the episodes a season don't actually exist within the Simpsons universe anymore (maybe "24 Minutes" did, but man, that's a push).

The plots losing entertainment value:
I understand that this is about as subjective as it comes, but episodes like "Kill Gil" just can't make it past the first stages. Gil is a side character, and having him lead an entire episode in which he comes and lives with the Simpsons would work as a side plot as best. He's a one dimensional character - he can't hold a whole plot. It's like when The Office, in its declining years, had a few Creed-based episodes.

Characters just aren't themselves:
Homer becomes a thief (again?) in "Crook and Ladder". This isn't Homer being morally questionable, this is him flat out taking advantage of someone's buildings burning down and, in the case of Burns' Manor, just plain robbing him. Beloved family man, Homer Simpson...

The humour is dead and gone:
Watch "Rome-old and Juli-eh" in which Abe dates Selma and tell me if you laugh just once.

They might try for nostalgia but forget their own stories:
The crux of the "Haw Hawed Couple" episode is Nelson and Bart becoming unlikely friends. But... Nelson and Bart have already become friends before, in the episode when Bart  shoots the bird. This is already old news. Nelson even says at one point "I've never had a best friend before" - but he has! And it is the same person. 

The characters lose their humanity:
In "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" there is a side plot where Bart finds out Skinner has a peanut allergy. He then continues to blackmail, taunt and torture skinner by waving a peanut on a stick at him. Bart is a malicious and horrible person in this episode, and in the end Skinner is throwing shrimp at Bart (in which they find he is allergic to) and Bart is throwing peanuts at Skinner. All this occurs after an extended Family Guy-esque fight scene. I would say it would be like a time in Family Guy when it started declining, but that show has always been trash.

Bring on season 19. Lets try to forget this ever happened.

Best Quotes:
"This is the most disgusting place we've ever been!"
"What about Brazil?"
"After Brazil."
-An exchange between Lisa and Bart

"You have destroyed all human life on Earth. Level one: completed!"
-The video game Death Kill City 2: Death Kill Stories

Best Episode:
"The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and the Homer" is probably the top of the season. Fat Tony has a son, and exploits occur. That's all you need to know. It's pretty good.

Worst Episode:
"Please Homer Don't Hammer 'Em" is in contention for being one of the worst ever, in my books. I've already explained how terrible the Bart and Skinner side story is, but the main one fares no better. Marge inexplicably becomes a very talented carpenter (Bart in this season also becomes a fantastic jazz drummer too, somehow) but no one trusts her as she's a woman. Homer then takes the credit while letting Marge do the work. There's a terrible bit with a roller coaster falling apart, nothing makes sense, and if you laugh once it would be at, not with, this trainwreck of an episode. I can't believe it's worse than "Crook and Ladder". 

Simpsons by the Season: 17

"Sometimes it's  easier to be cruel than to say how we really feel."

Season 17, according to IMDB lists, seems to hit the biggest trough in the quality of the series. I remember watching it live and thinking the same thing - but to be fair that was my thought at the end of every new season for the last seven or eight years and for time beyond that as well. However, for a brief, shining moment of optimism in what has become a cesspool of disappointment (cesspool, cesspool!) I offer this message of hope: there are a few decent episodes still. I didn't give up on this show at this point because while there are quite a few poor ones (not many this season were truly atrocious) a couple don't feel like I'm wasting my life while watching them. I mean, I am, but that's for epiphanies later.

To begin with the negatives...

The show is still hampered by the same problems they've faced in the last several years, one of which is a lack of consistency in their characters. As a change of pace, they switched from making Homer quite possibly mentally ill and Bart bordering on psychopathic and went instead after Marge this season. Where once was a solid rock of a mother, they've introduced into this season a thief and a drug peddler. I'm not kidding. In "The Last of the Red Hat Mamas" we find Marge a part of a heist, attempting to steal from Burns' manor. This isn't the Marge we know - the one that made a point of paying for "two measly stinkin' grapes" and the one who was so damaged by Bart stealing from the Try 'N' Save. This is, however, the same Marge that sells Homer's pain medication to the highest bidder on the street. She ends up arrested by the end of the episode for this, by the way.

Even as a mother Marge loses her way this season. Yes, she makes a passionate plea to a monkey to return Bart in "Bart Has Two Mommies" (yes, that happened) but she also finds an interest in not one but two men this season. One, Homer wins back her love - "My poor sweet Homie, you sacrificed yourself for the manatees!" is a real quote from the way in which he does so. The second, Marge gets amnesia in "Regarding Maggie" and cannot remember Homer. She instantly goes out and looks to begin dating other men, apparently forgetting this man is her children's father. Again, that's terrible parenting. It's also a little bit of being a terrible person. Why is this Marge?

Perhaps this ties into the second major problem of this season, which falls to a blatantly obvious difficulty in finding fresh material for plots. Two of the episodes are three-part mini stories (a second round of Bible stories and a set of tales about the sea) and then there's the two episodes where they leave for other countries, Italy and India this year. As a side note: Homer in India feels like a rip-off of the Stonecutters, both in the main plot (Homer bumbles his way to the top of the chain in a new society where he's worshipped like a God) and in the visuals. Take a look at the image on the right and tell me that doesn't look like a familiar Stonecutters scene, for you major Simpsons fans. Anyways - it feels like a bit of a cheat, as travel episodes tend to be filled with easy jokes on other cultures that have been done countless times before and the three-part episodes are really just second shots at Halloween. 

However, those aren't the most notable examples of drying the well of good ideas; the worst comes from individual, terribly disjointed episodes. A few in particular feel more akin to bad improv nights than a planned program. In "Homer's Paternity Coot" Marge battles with a new toll booth, causes a number of tires to pop, meaning more for the tire fire, leading to the heat melting a mountain, allowing them to discover a frozen mailman, revealing a letter that implies Abe is not Homer's father. This all happened within the first few minutes of the episode. If this were Whose Line Is It Anyway? (to use a dated reference, but you try to make a more relevant one in regards to improv) they would be booed off the stage. 

I did, however, say there was some good. It's true. The episode in which girls are taught math differently in Springfield Elementary is funny. The episode on evolution and creationism is funny. "The Seemingly Neverending Story", which won an Emmy, is at the very least creative and fresh when so many of the episodes fall short in that aspect. There are still a few worth watching, and when that's the case, there's still hope. That hope will be drained in due time, but for now, I would still keep watching.

Best Quotes:

"Grover Cleveland's second term - if anything - was even more uneventful."

-Krabappel to her students

"But she made us feel happy - and not church happy - real happy."

-Rod and Todd pleading with Flanders to allow Marge to take care of them

Best Episode:

I would give it to "The Monkey Suit", in which Lisa argues for evolution to be taught in schools. The episode really stresses what this season did best, which is visual gags. There has got to be about ten of them, making it worth your time for that alone. 

Worst Episode:

Abe Simpson, crippled and old, blocks a football franchise from coming to Springfield, making him attempt suicide. Somehow he becomes a matador. The episode ends with Abe floating away on balloons. "Million-dollar Abie". Never again. If that picture above doesn't convince you to stay far, far away, I don't know what will.

Simpsons by the Season: 16

"When you work in the business as long as I have, you're bound to repeat yourself."

My typical approach for these blogs is to find a common theme of the season and express how many of the episodes fit within it. Lately, they've been scathing, frustrated reviews where the average episode has repeated itself, become too foolish, or has the characters become mockeries of their former selves. This post won't be one of them.

I hesitate on saying this season is a return to form, as that would imply it was a good season. It wasn't. However, it was a return to sensibility. Rarely was the plot so ridiculous it was hard to watch, and there were a scant few occasions where the characters lost their true selves. The only major exception to this is Bart and Millhouse needlessly ruining the visit of a tourist coming to Springfield, but hey - as they say in Australia, pobody's nerfect.

There's simply not a lot to hate about this season. There are a few repeat episodes, but nothing egregiously ripping themselves off. Homer gets a motor home again... they visit Canada once more, but at least this time for a longer time with better results... yet another future episode... another episode that ends by someone yelling "party"... but nothing I'm up in arms about. As with last season, there are a few notable continuity errors, but again they're few and far between (namely Nelson saying his dad left him, although his father came back the previous season and Lisa saying Bart's never done anything for her in spite of a whole montage of them being friendly siblings in the Lisa vs. Bart hockey episode). 

Overall, it's a reasonable, safe season. The problem is it's not a very funny season. There are no standouts on either end of the quality scale, with no terribly regrettable episodes but free from anything that really makes me glad the show has continued its exceedingly long run. This is what the show has come to - not interested in staying relevant, but rather simply staying. Sadly, that's the best we can hope for. Not being angry at this show is the best I've felt in six seasons.

Best Quotes:

"I realized I was an adult when the judge says 'we are trying you as an adult'". 

-Kearney

"Now let's go murder our enemies. Peace."

-Alcatraz, rapper

"Why did Lisa dump me? Is it because of my small calves? They're the hardest place to add mass!"

-Millhouse, large, strong, future version

Best Episode:

Sheesh. I guess I'll give it to "Midnight Rx" in which Homer goes to Canada to get cheap prescription drugs. It's really nothing special, but the Canadian bits are pretty good. I guess this one wins off writer home country bias.

Worst Episode:

Lately this has been pretty easy. Homer destroying churches, being made into a prank monkey, and fighting a bear tends to leave a nasty enough taste in my mouth to barely having to consider my pick. This time around it will go to "Goo Goo Gai Pan" in which Selma goes to get her daughter from China, not because it's a terrible episode but it's the weakest of an entirely mediocre crop. I've grown weary of the "Simpsons visit another country" style episodes (no, Canada doesn't count - it's right there and we're too alike) and it comes across as weaker than the rest and mostly boring.